400,000 Protesters March To Prevent Annihilation By Global Warming

Socialists, grandmothers, Baptists, babies, domestic workers, veterans, anarchists, and Leonardo Di Caprio all rallied to save the human species from itself during the People’s Climate March on Sunday, in what one of the organizers called “the largest political gathering about anything in America in at least a decade.”


The “final” head count from the march’s officials stood at 400,000, though there is no magic number that triggers the world leaders meeting to discuss climate change at the UN on Tuesday to actually do something about it.


For Emma Suzuki-Jones and Holly Fuchigami, two college students who had recently moved to the city from Hawaii, New York’s biggest demonstration since the 2004 RNC protests was also their first.


Suzuki-Jones said that she was most concerned about rising sea levels. “It’s just weird to think that a lot of places in Hawaii are going to be underwater in 50 years.” We didn’t have the heart to point out that her adopted home would be underwater too.


“Look at the rivers, look at the sky, look at China, look at the United States,” José Escalona-Martinez said after he took his Batman mask off and laid down his “Carbon Tax” sign in Times Square. Escalona-Martinez had recently gotten out of jail after an altercation with a drunk tourist, but wanted to be back on the job for the protest.

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